The difference between a Therapist and a Coach

This clarification came from a peer, who is also a late diagnosed woman.

They're complementary but they do different things, and expecting one to do both can leave you feeling like it's not working.

- Therapy works on the 'why' — processing trauma, understanding emotional patterns, healing the past.

- Coaching works on the 'what now' — building practical strategies, accountability, and learning to work with your brain rather than against it. Many people benefit from both, sometimes at the same time.

I'm an ADHD coach (and late-diagnosed myself) so I'll speak to both sides.

For finding a therapist —

- They have specific experience with ADHD and/or neurodivergence, not just a general awareness of it

- They understand that trauma and ADHD are often intertwined, not separate issues

- They don't try to 'fix' your ADHD with therapy techniques designed for neurotypical brains

- They're flexible in their approach rather than rigidly sticking to one model

- You feel safe and understood, not judged or patronised

- They get that emotional dysregulation, rejection sensitivity, and shame spirals aren't just 'anxiety' — they're part of the ADHD picture

Red flags:

- They dismiss ADHD or treat it as secondary to everything else

- They suggest your ADHD symptoms are 'just' trauma responses (it can be both)

- They focus heavily on techniques that rely on executive function you don't have — like complex journaling homework, detailed thought records, or rigid between-session tasks

- They've never worked with neurodivergent clients before

- You leave sessions feeling worse about yourself consistently, not just on hard days